I am in my mid-twenties and moved out of my parents’ house about a month ago. I’m living with a girl I’ve known from college for several years. We aren’t close friends, but we know each other better than the average acquaintance. We really haven’t had time to adjust to one another b/c the whole past month she’s been working another job in another city (this only happens during the summer). When moving in, I made her aware of all of the furniture I was bringing. (She had lived in an apartment before, so the majority of the house has been furnished by her.) I have a bookcase/hutch piece that would normally go in my bedroom, but since my bedroom is too small, I have placed it at another spot in the house in the hallway. It doesn’t fit perfectly, but it doesn’t interrupt with any of her furniture, nor with the flow of traffic in the house. I told her ahead of time where I was planning on putting it, and she was neutral. However, when she came home yesterday, she told me she wanted me to move it because it didn’t fit perfectly and that it bothers her being there. She is very assertive, but I felt she was almost being borderline aggressive. I am also assertive, but tend to get flustered when someone acts like this. So, here is my query:
1.) To be "fair", I told her I’d listen to her suggestions on where else this piece should go, but in the end, I don’t want to move my piece. I know we have to have compromise, but I don’t go around asking her to move her furniture if it bothers me. It’s a very heavy, old piece of furniture that has a lot of fragiles displayed and if moved anywhere else, I’m afraid it will get bumped with the house traffic. (Our house is very small and there aren’t a lot of options of places for it to go. Also, it is painted a different color and if it’s put in a room with a lot of different furniture, it starts to look like a hodge-podge of furniture where nothing matches.) Also, since it’s not furniture she is using, I really don’t see how it affects her. I’m not sure if I’m being petty here, but I feel like I need to put my foot down. It feels ridiculous to react this way, but she is getting pushy. Is this an appropriate response from me? What else could I do? Is it appropriate for her to make this call?
2.) How does one handle a person who is borderline aggressive? (It almost feels like a power struggle….)
Last tidbit of info: we are both paying equal rent to live here.
Thank you for your wisdom!
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